You are successful because you decided what you wanted to do, made a plan, worked hard, maybe had some luck along the way, and stuck to your ideas.
Perhaps others doubted your ability to succeed, didn’t understand your plan, or dismissed your dreams because they didn’t fit the paradigm of their vision for you. But you’re a success because you believed in yourself regardless of the opinions of others. So why do you doubt your abilities when it comes to your personal life?
As a clinical psychologist, I often encounter successful professionals who have difficulties with their children or partners or friends. When looking under the surface of these issues, often I notice the resolve and self-confidence the person demonstrates at work is missing. They tend to succumb to the doubts and skewed perspectives of others rather than stand on the strength of self-knowledge.
Does this sound familiar? At work, when a challenge occurs, you tackle it head on. In your personal life, you second-guess yourself and give in to the whims of others. If this happens to you, there are some simple steps to change it up.
Treat personal problems like business challenges. Use the same tools you would use at work to problem-solve. Don’t discount the power of a spreadsheet, a team meeting, setting specific goals with designated times for follow up.
Remind yourself often that you are an intelligent, capable person. Write personal strengths on sticky notes and place them around the house or in your car. Write with a dry erase marker on your bathroom mirror.
Don’t allow yourself to “lose it” with family. You wouldn’t do it at work. Take a deep breath, walk away, shut your door. We often spend considerable time feeling bad about responding poorly instead of using that time and energy to problem solve.